One Year Later...

It's January 31, 2019. One year ago, my favorite character on General Hospital died. And I completely forgot about it.

Today has not shaped up to be the best day for me. I don't feel that great (there's a flu bug going around work.) Half of my co-workers called out and I had a big project planned that I now have to do myself. Plus, I forgot about a conference call I have to listen to right now. (Don't tell anyone, but I'm not paying attention to it at all. I'm writing this instead.) On top of that, this cold weather has really got me down.

Needless to say, when I opened Twitter and saw the tweet from @NathanAndMaxie about today's anniversary, it hit me hard and I was not prepared for the emotions of it. At All.

This was me. No lie.

I watched Nathan die and then I watched his funeral. I'm not going to go into detail about that because if you know me or are a Nathan fan, you know how that went.

It's true. There was DAYS of this.

So, it's been one year. What's different? Well, I can tell you that once Ryan Paevey's last episode aired, I turned off GH completely. I said I would and I did. Quit, cold turkey. Best decision I ever made. I did write one last fanfic just to have a proper ending to Naxie and that was it. I've had people ask if I will write more, but I think I'm done with that for reals. Sometimes, when you love something as long and as hard as I did, going back to it feels Less Than. (If that makes sense.) It just isn't the same. I have a ton of Naxie clips sitting on my computer that I can't bring myself to rewatch. It hurts way too much.

Sidenote: Here's also a little confession too: After all this time, I'm afraid that what I loved about Naxie isn't really there. That it was the camaraderie of being a Naxie fan and being in the moment of a current couple that I loved and not the couple. It keeps me from enjoying them all over again. Well, that and knowing that Nathan frickin'dies.

As for GH, well I watched a couple of clips, mostly from the birth of Nathan's son and a couple of interactions with Nathan's half brother. But by that point, there was a huge arrow pointing the direction the writers were going with Maxie. Not only was I not okay with it, I didn't have any interest in watching it play out.

Nope, nope, nope.

My deepest admiration goes out to ANY Naxie fan that has continued to watch, knowing full well that the writers and show runner are pushing our heroine to a character who is Less Than Nathan in every way possible.

"Peter August" is a terrible character and a terrible match for Maxie Jones. For starters, he played a HUGE part in her husband's death. That should be the only disqualifier right there. If someone did that in real life, would any of us even consider speaking to that person ever again, let alone sex them up? Uh-Uh, no way-no how. And yes, I know it's just a show. But if we all got that upset about a fictional character's death, we're all allowed to have self-righteous anger over the writers choosing a villain for Maxie's next love interest!

And trust me, I AM self-righteously angry about it.

Also, he does nothing for Maxie's growth as a character. He doesn't challenge her, he doesn't make her a better person. Heck, he doesn't even make her a worse person! He makes her boring and bland. So we're all clear here: MAXIE JONES IS NOT A BORING CHARACTER. She's snarky and funny; she's a trouble maker with a good heart; she's the one you want on your side even though you know she's trouble. Hooking a clearly vibrant legacy character to a character who is a soap history rewrite on top of being the most uninteresting character to come along since Sarah Webber is a giant mistake.

If we're being honest? Like 100% honest, pull no punches, I'm just keeping it real honest? The actor is miscast and has no chemistry with his scene partners. Also, his haircut is atrocious in a 90's boy band kind of way. And that's all I'll say about him.

As for NathanWest. I do miss him. I miss the innate goodness of the character and what he brought to the show. I miss seeing Ryan Paevey on a regular basis (even though I am happy that he is doing what he wants and I'm sure we'll see him on the regular again.) I miss the fun, flirtatiousness of Naxie. I miss appointment TV where I was talking to my Naxie Girls every day about Naxie. Heck, I even miss the roller coaster of vague spoilers. (Okay, not really on that last one, haha.)

One year later... I still miss Nathan. Probably always will. I don't think about Nathan or Naxie all the time anymore. But it hurts less... and that, I think, is like losing him all over again.